today, i was eating a sandwich on my moped. i was also on a freeway, and so as you can imagine, a lot of people were jealous of my amazing sandwich. so jealous in fact, that everyone began honking at me and flipping me off. i just laughed and continued to eat my amazing sandwich, until, a woman jumped in front of my moped. the started to scream "I'M A SANDWITCH". which i told her doesn't make sense, but she didn't care. i then ran her over. i flew out of my moped, broke a few ribs, my arms and legs, and my face, but worst of all, i broke my sandwich.
... and i went into a coma.
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